I found a lot of reasons to smile today, and before I forget them, I want to share them here so I could preserve the memories for posterity.

• Family is precious. A reunion makes you realize how much you truly miss them.
• Celebrations are fun. Happy birthday to my nephew, Ardain Theodore Espiritu Oliva!
• Opportunities abound. When God closes a door, He opens a window. I just hope that me and hubby are smart enough to find a way in.
• Frustrations are fleeting. Minor disagreements are negligible, especially with family.
• Laughter fills the tummy. No, not with gas, but it makes you forget your hunger, and even your aches and pains – physical or otherwise.
• Sisters are soul-bound. No matter how different you turn out to be, being sisters ties you in ways unfathomable.
• Childishness is liberating. It’s good to let your inner child out sometimes. It liberates you in such an exhilirating way.
• Criticism can be positive. Once you learn how to accept critiques gracefully, you can look beyond the sting and focus on what you can improve.
•  It’s not always a bad thing when you’re proven wrong. You learn a thing or two, you’re humbled, and you’re made to remember that things aren’t as bad as you think they are.
• Tiredness is of little consequence when you’re happy. Some things make some discomfort worth it.

No words can express how much... I love these two.

Ate, me, and Mommy being goofy.

     Mommy had me when she was 37, and people would think it would cause us to have a huge generation gap; but that’s one fact we’ve always proven wrong. Despite the headaches I gave Mommy when I was younger and all the zingers she threw my way when I made her mad, Mommy and I are living testaments of one thing: the heart always understands, though the mind sometimes doesn’t. And just like the warm goodness of freshly baked bread, Mommy to me will always be the pure essence of home. I love you mommy! ♥

     It’s funny how circumstances ended up with me blogging again after over a year of hiatus. I’ve actually already forgotten my username and password. Thank God for retrieval options!

     So why did I stop blogging? I guess you could say I got too wrapped up with work, or more aptly, work wrapped itself around me, the details of which I am reluctant to disclose at this time.

     Back to my new blog post. I started writing a new status for my Facebook account [yes, I, too, have succumbed to social media], and the “status” turned out to be much longer than I anticipated. So I decided to post it to this blog, so that I could come back to it and draw stregth from it should the need arise [though I hope not].

     So here it is, ladies and gents, and I hope you draw meaning from it, as I did.

Decision-making is a painful process. It scares you, it needles you, it gives you endless worry. It traps you in a sort of limbo, freezing you in time but never allowing you to step forward nor to step back. It breaks your will and saps your energy. It makes you question your motives. It throws so many outcomes in your face, likely more bad than good. It shackles you, binds you and gags you, so much so that the freedom to choose doesn’t seem much like freedom at all.  But it has to end. It has to. And only you and your circumstances can tell when it will. And when it does end, the tie that binds you will be the the one that frees you, allowing you to pull yourself up from the pit you’ve fallen into. And when you do pull yourself up, you’ll look down into the pit and learn from what you’ve been through. And from your high vantage point, you’ll see so many possibilities opening up for you. And now you’re free. Finally free. And should the process start again, at least, you’ll know better, and hopefully, it will be less painful than it was.

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday…

     This song has been playing in my head the entire day.  It’s actually playing in the background as I’m typing out this post.  I could completely relate to the lyrics, as James and I started our relationship when I was still in Japan.  And prior to becoming a couple, we were best friends.

     Listening to this song makes me wistful and nostalgic.  It was sad being away from home that time, but if I were given the chance to go back in time, I would still choose to spend that particular year abroad.  I’ve learned so many things during that time away from home, and it helped me appreciate things a lot more.  The song also reminds me of simpler and lighter times.

     Now, there are many challenges that I am facing.  But a song like this helps me recall good memories, and it helps me focus on the positive.

     With a few minutes left until my official out-time from work, here’s a list of the things that I’m wishing for right now, from the most inconsequential to the most invaluable:

• a Ragnarok Crown of Deceit
• a Ragnarok Hairband of Reginleif
• a full hardbound set of the Twilight Series
• a Swedish massage at The Spa
• a Samsung Omnia HD
• a pink Toshiba or Vaio laptop
• an Audi R8
• a house & lot at Tagaytay Highlands
• an unobstructed amount of time with my husband

     Sigh…

“After eighteen years of mediocrity, I was pretty used to being average.  I realize now that I’d long ago given up on any aspirations of shining at anything.  I just did the best with what I had, never quite fitting into my world.  So this was really different.  I was amazing now – to them and to myself.  It was like I had been born to be a vampire.  The idea made me want to laugh, but it also made me want to sing.  I had found my true place in the world, the place I fit, the place I shined.”

- Bella Cullen in Breaking Dawn

     It seems as if I would never run out of quotes from the Twilight series.  Which just goes to show what a big fan I am.  But quite honestly, I’ve had many bursts of inspiration as I read some lines in the books.  I always try to learn from everything I read and encounter, and I definitely have a lot of insights inspired by my beloved fictional characters.

     Many of us settle for mediocrity.  It is easier somehow, to blend in with the crowd and never try to do something daring or exceptional.    There are no pressures and no unmanageable obstacles.  But the truth of the matter is, more often than not, we are much better than we think ourselves to be.

     We all have potentials, and it is up to us to realize these.  We should never settle for less than what we are capable of.  And we should remember that everything is possible if we believe that it is.

     This quote holds a special meaning for me, especially since I am embarking on a new career move yet again.  I am hoping and praying that this would be the place where I fit.  And hopefully, the place where I would shine.  There would be challenges along the way.  But with God’s grace and the support of the people that I love, I know that I can make it.

“Before you, my life was like a moonless night.  Very dark, but there were stars – points of light and reason…  and then you shot across my sky like a meteor.  Suddenly, everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.  When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.  Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.  I couldn’t see the stars anymore.  And there was no more reason for anything…”

- Edward Cullen to Bella Swan in New Moon

     Meteors are such fleeting things.  Unlike comets which circle the earth and are seen again after several decades, meteors flash by once and then are gone forever.  After a meteor streaks by, there is a finality to it – a close.  And it’s sad, really.

     True love is like a meteor.  It would streak by just once in your lifetime, and if you aren’t fast enough or wise enough to catch it, then it’s gone forever.  And when love is gone, so is light… so is reason…

     I guess I’m lucky that I was able to recognize my meteor for what it is: true love in the guise of friendship.  I couldn’t imagine how my life would be right now if I hadn’t found my light and my reason… if I hadn’t found James.  And I would forever be thankful for the gift of love that we now share.

     James and I have quit playing RO for almost a year, but then the coming of the Renewal Patch sparked my hubby’s interest, and we decided to play again.  Nothing serious as WoE or anything, but we have decided to prepare some characters for renewal.  And a few of these characters happen to belong to the alchemist class – our favorite character class in the game.

     In mine and James’ entire RO playing career, I think we’ve had about nine characters belonging to the said class.  For renewal, we probably would change seven of them to the third class, which is Genetic.  Most of them have a homunculus, and we are currently working on levelling up an amistr, a filir, and a vanilmirth, which explains my post title.

    Levelling up a homunculus, especially a vanilmirth, is a frustrating experience.  You would find yourself getting more and more nervous as level up time approaches.  And when your preferred stats do not get any bonuses, you would want to bash your head into the monitor.  Well, maybe not that severe, but close.

     Selene Celestialle’s vanilmirth is giving me quite a headache.  He’s currently at level 59 and he had no INT growth the past level.  He’s had 3 stagnant levels between 50 – 59 and I do hope that the slump would end soon.  I’d hate to see all the time (not to mention load) spent go to waste if I have to delete him.  It’s a pain really.

     Oh well, at least Nelo’s filir seems to be doing well at level 64.  As for Galadrielle’s amistr, he’s now 95 and I have no intention of deleting him despite his below average stats.  He’s the first ever homunculus I’ve summoned way back in 2005.  Deleting him would be sacrilege.

     So I apparently have more anxiety-filled days to look forward to.  I hope it all pays off in the end.  Cheers to all homunculus breeders!~

     Being the avid reader that I am, I often find myself going through different “phases.”  I relate to the heroines of the books that I read, and consequently, I find myself daydreaming of the heroes of the books I read.  More so when I books I read are made into movies and I get to see the object of my daydreams enfleshed.  Yes, I’ve gone through a Legolas phase (The Lord of the Rings) and a Landon Carter phase (A Walk to Remember).  I also went through a brief Harry Potter phase, and I distinctly remember having thought that Cedric Diggory was cute, but he was killed off too soon and I didn’t get the chance to explore that phase more.  Little did I know that the fleeting interest I held would be resurrected to a whole new level when the same actor would play the character who is the object of my current obsessive phase; Edward Cullen.

     When I first heard about the book Twilight, I was intrigued by the number of people who say that it’s a fantastic book.  I never got to buy a copy, since I was pinching pennies that time, but I did read the plot summary and it seemed quite interesting.  I was specifically intrigued by the male protagonist, who also happens to be a vampire.  Seeing that my then-boyfriend, and now-husband is fond of biting… well, you could see where the attraction came from.  To make the long story short, I watched the movie, and then I was hopelessly hooked.

     The mania died down for a while, but when a colleague lent me her copy of Twilight, my attraction to Edward Cullen came rushing back.  And I am again hopelessly on the “Edward phase” of my infatuations.  Of course, beyond the raging hormones, I should say that the novel is a very good read.  The romance is surreal yet made believable.  I would not attempt to make a review though, as my hormone-induced state of mind would most likely just gush on the ethereal perfection of the book’s protagonist.

     So me just humor the airhead in me as I shout out, “I love you Edward!”

***No offense to my hubby.  You know I love you more honey!