Standing on a precipice… that’s how I feel at this point in my life. It seems that just a short time ago, I was dreaming of a time when I would find someone who would love me infinitely… someone I could share the rest of my life with knowing that I would be cherished and taken care of. My life since then has been a whirl of love found and love lost; of happiness generously interspersed with heartaches and an inexplainable longing for something more… something missing… something I haven’t yet found…
Until I found him…
I couldn’t be happier. I have been blessed to have met and found the best friend and the best boyfriend in the entire world. And now, I know, with every beat of my heart, that I have found the most perfect lifetime partner I could ever hope to have. And along with this is the reassuring thought that the life I carry inside me; his seed, would have a father that she would be proud of.
And yet, everything has yet to fully sink in. Perhaps this is the feeling one gets when confronted with one of the most life-changing commitments. This year has truly been an emotional and overwhelming time for me as I embark on two of the greatest journeys a woman can ever take; marriage and motherhood. And while I do not fully know what the future may bring, I could say that by God’s grace and the love of our families, James and I, and our little angel, Adrienne Martha Ysabella, could look forward to beautiful days ahead.
“Anyone who says that sunshine brings happiness has never danced through the rain…”
It’s been a cold, dreary day with the world draped in a shawl of gray. But the scene outside my window couldn’t have been further from the scene I carry in my heart. It has been sixteen months now since James and I decided to walk along life’s road together. And now that we are on the verge of taking our commitment one step further, I couldn’t be happier. I could never think of anyone else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. With James, I feel profoundly safe and secure… and so deeply loved.
While it may be true that many trials have rocked our relationship from the very beginning, we’ve only gotten stronger in our love and firmer in our faith. Perhaps, the biggest challenge in our relationship so far has come to pass, and we have been blessed to be left unscathed, thanks to the love and support of our families, our church, and the people around us whom we call friends. We know that more trials lie ahead, but we also know that along with the trials are more wonderful memories to be made, especially while we so patiently wait for the coming of a little angel into our lives.
I love you so much James. Thank you for giving me two of my life’s greatest miracles… your love… and your seed…
It’s been four long months since I last felt the compulsion to pen out my thoughts, not because of the lack of inspiration nor the lack of time. Rather, I think the best reason would be that there was too much happening in my world that I never really knew exactly what I should dwell on, think about, much less, write about.
But I’m back.
If there’s anything that the past few months have allowed me to do, it is to clear up my perspective and to clear out my life’s path. Now, the road before me is paved and waiting… all I have to do now is traverse it with a steady heart and firm conviction. And that wouldn’t be difficult to do, because I have someone’s hand to hold.
