Whispers between the Shadow and the Soul

     I thought the month of love would close with me having a broken heart.  But you saved me… right in the nick of time.

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     Why..?

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     I have, admittedly, been frequently lonely lately.  As you may have well noticed.  I find it ironic to feel this way when in fact, you always give me so many reasons to be happy.  I don’t like myself much these days.  Oftentimes, I find myself sprawled in my bed and sobbing uncontrollably.  The rational part of me sternly shakes her head, saying this absolutely won’t do.  But the emotional part of me can’t help it.  I can’t help but feel lonely.  And I can’t help but cry.

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     He was a star.

     I chanced upon him one night not too long ago. He was perfect. He resided mighty high up in the sky where no mortal can ever reach him; yet his luminosity reached far across heaven and earth. His brightness in the skies was dazzling; juxtaposed with all the heavenly bodies that make up the constellations, his light radiated the most.

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     First time for me to post an entry so soon after the most recent one.  I think it’s been barely an hour since my last post.  I guess I just wanted to let this all out before I lose grasp of what I’m feeling.

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     I’m someone who isn’t very keen on writing about myself.  I could pen out my thoughts on almost any topic, except for the topic that I, supposedly, know most about.  I guess it’s partly because my thoughts are so preoccupied with the people that I care most about that I have become so used to looking towards others rather than towards myself.  It may be good or bad, depending on the circumstances.  But earlier, when I decided to register for a new photo blog, which I called Romance in Retrospect, I was presented with the opportunity to take a look into a one-way mirror and write about the topic that I, more often than not, steer clear of: me…

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     Valentines Day and our eleventh month milestone… the day dawned bittersweetly.  Despite two reasons to be happy, there was a pang of loneliness because I knew we wouldn’t be able to see each other.  But like you said, when you love someone, you don’t just show it on any particular day, rather, you show it everyday.  Nevertheless, behind the bliss was a tinge of pain.

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     Once upon a time, there was a disillusioned girl who fell in love with a seemingly unattainable guy; a guy she had no business falling in love with in the first place.  A guy who was always there to listen, to understand, to care… who never failed to remind her to take her meals on time and who sang for her whenever she felt sad.  A guy who was someone else’s boyfriend.  A guy who was her best friend.

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     “If you love someone, you say it right then… out loud… or the moment just passes you by…”

- excerpt from the movie, My Best Friend’s Wedding

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     There are no words to describe how happy you make me.  A single look… a single word… a single touch from you could make my heart skip a beat, take my breath away, and make me realize that it doesn’t get any better than this…

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