Castle-on-Stilts

     I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sandcastle by the water’s edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand. I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle. I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spent so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships with other people endure. Sooner or later, a wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody’s hand to hold will be able to laugh.

- Rabbi Harold Kushner

     Building sandcastles has always been a fascination for me.  As a child, my cousins and I would rush to the beach during summer excursions and we’d build trenches, dams, moats, and an attempt at a grand fairytale castle to rival Cinderella’s.  When the tide sets in and it was time to go home, I remember looking back to that glorious childhood masterpiece with mingled pride and melancholy.  Pride, because it was something we’ve accomplished without the help of any adults.  Melancholy, because it would inevitably be swept away and we’d leave it behind.

     When I went through adolescense, I stopped building sand castles.  Instead, I started building what I called my “castle-on-stilts“; an assortment of cherished dreams and goals.  I called it such because at that time, the foundations were shaky at best, and I was yet to determine precisely how I was to achieve those grand ambitions.

     All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spent so much time and energy creating, are built on sand.

     The path has been laid out before me long since.  And each day, my goals seem to be clearer; not as distant and elusive as they once seemed to be.  And so I thought that my castle was standing, no longer on stilts, but on a solid rock foundation.  Yet, when I was first able to read Rabbi Kushner’s statement, I have realized that there can never be any guarantees on achieving my goals.  This, of course, does not mean that I should strive for for them with less enthusiasm and motivation.  Faith, coupled with hard work and dedication, would surely go a long way in helping me attain what I’m aiming for.

     Only our relationships with other people endure.

     I think that this, more than anything else, is what we should never lose sight of.  More than any amount of wealth we could accumulate, nothing would be ever so precious as the relationships and connections we build each day.  No degree of achievement could be tantamount to the simple joy of reaching out and helping others. 

     Sooner or later, a wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up.

     Things wouldn’t always work out the way we want them to.  It is inevitable for us to make mistakes and meet with challenges and failure every once in a while.  Pressures build up, sometimes in such enormous proportions that it almost breaks us down.  But then again…

     When that happens, only the person who has somebody’s hand to hold will be able to laugh.